I decided I want to go back to a simpler time…a time when you had to call people to check on them. A time when you only knew what people were doing if you were really their friend? A time when you didn’t have to document every single moment of your life in order to make others believe that your life was somehow better than theirs. I want to go back a time when email, text messaging were the norm and a blog was the icing on the cake. I want to a go back in time, before Facebook, Twitter, and whatever other social media mediums people use.
Maybe it’s just me but I found myself spending way too much time on Twitter and Facebook. I found myself wondering, “If I don’t tweet it, did it really happen?” I found myself, not only updating my Facebook status but constantly checking the status’ of others…not just of friends but of people that I don’t especially care for. Essentially, I found myself wasting time.
And so, with the realization that I was wasting time, I decided to delete both my Facebook and Twitter accounts, in an attempt to live life, not just tweet it. And ya’ know what, I’ve actually gained a few extra moments in my day. I am not a slave to my phone anymore (I had the Twitter and Facebook app on my phone), I make it a point to call people or at the very least pick up the phone when they call and I have more time to exercise. I know this seems crazy, deleting two social networking accounts can’t possibly free up so much time…Well the reality is, it can. Think about it…all of the time you spend updating accounts, cyber stalking, thinking of something crafty to type…those are valuable minutes of your life that you will never get back.
Wish me luck in my crazy, slightly social media free journey!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Judgement
So last week Baby J and I went on a play date with a friend of mine and her son. I was so excited to catch up, allow our children to play and just spend time with someone who gets what I am going through on a daily basis. As I drove over I kept glancing at Baby J in the back while carefully applying mascara at stop lights; I couldn't’t let my friend see me in full mommy mode.
I walked into her house, expecting to give my dear friend a great big hug…however, something stopped me in my tracks. It wasn’t the fact that she lost all of her baby weight and then some, or the fact that her hair flowed like she had a personal wind machine, it was how NASTY her house was. Let me explain what I mean; dirty and clean clothes everywhere, crumbs on everything, every toy was taken out and placed in the most inconvenient places. The dishes flowed from the sink and into the dishwasher, the garbage cans were over flowing and there was a stench. I couldn't’t believe it! How could she live like this? This is not the person I remember! I didn’t even want to put Baby J down for fear that he would “contract” something!
I kept the visit short, however while there I made mental notes of everything that grossed me out ( I also took pictures as evidence). I thought,” How could a mother allow her children live in this filth?” and beyond that, “How could my life long friend live in this filth?” On the ride home I called my fiance, mom and anyone else who would listen to me tell them how disgusting her house was. I felt so much better telling ( and showing) people how disgusting her house was, it even put a little simile on my face. The thought that I was keeping a cleaner house than another mom my age and in a similar situation made me feel victorious.
However, as days passed and life continued, I began to see that my once neat home wasn’t so neat anymore. Baby J’s crib looked liked a war zone, his toys needed to be disinfected, organized and put away. My kitchen floor, typically white was more of an oatmeal and there was a strange smell coming from the bathroom. As I put Baby J in his car seat, I saw that there was crusted banana on the buckle and a rotten grape stuck between the car seat and his head rest. However, in an attempt to not be late to work I turned a blind eye to the banana and rotten grape. And as we drove off I realized that the very thing I judged my friend for was happening to me. The thought that I judged my friend for something so minuscule brought tears to my eyes.
In that moment I decided to stop all judgement (that I am aware of) and allow people to be who they are. Don’t get me wrong, I am not perfect and there will be times I look at a screaming kid in the grocery store and wonder why their mom hasn’t taken them out. But I have grown and learned that people do the best they can with what they have…
I walked into her house, expecting to give my dear friend a great big hug…however, something stopped me in my tracks. It wasn’t the fact that she lost all of her baby weight and then some, or the fact that her hair flowed like she had a personal wind machine, it was how NASTY her house was. Let me explain what I mean; dirty and clean clothes everywhere, crumbs on everything, every toy was taken out and placed in the most inconvenient places. The dishes flowed from the sink and into the dishwasher, the garbage cans were over flowing and there was a stench. I couldn't’t believe it! How could she live like this? This is not the person I remember! I didn’t even want to put Baby J down for fear that he would “contract” something!
I kept the visit short, however while there I made mental notes of everything that grossed me out ( I also took pictures as evidence). I thought,” How could a mother allow her children live in this filth?” and beyond that, “How could my life long friend live in this filth?” On the ride home I called my fiance, mom and anyone else who would listen to me tell them how disgusting her house was. I felt so much better telling ( and showing) people how disgusting her house was, it even put a little simile on my face. The thought that I was keeping a cleaner house than another mom my age and in a similar situation made me feel victorious.
However, as days passed and life continued, I began to see that my once neat home wasn’t so neat anymore. Baby J’s crib looked liked a war zone, his toys needed to be disinfected, organized and put away. My kitchen floor, typically white was more of an oatmeal and there was a strange smell coming from the bathroom. As I put Baby J in his car seat, I saw that there was crusted banana on the buckle and a rotten grape stuck between the car seat and his head rest. However, in an attempt to not be late to work I turned a blind eye to the banana and rotten grape. And as we drove off I realized that the very thing I judged my friend for was happening to me. The thought that I judged my friend for something so minuscule brought tears to my eyes.
In that moment I decided to stop all judgement (that I am aware of) and allow people to be who they are. Don’t get me wrong, I am not perfect and there will be times I look at a screaming kid in the grocery store and wonder why their mom hasn’t taken them out. But I have grown and learned that people do the best they can with what they have…
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Happy!
Right now, in this very moment I am grateful and happy! Today right here and now I choose to look at the good and smile
Just a few things that put a smile on my face:
My wonderful fiancé who makes me a better person just by being who he is
My son whose smile makes me tear up just thinking about it
My wonderful mother who at times makes me crazy but she is my best friend and my biggest supporter
My career that I actually love
My gym membership for just $10 a month.
My core group of friends that love and accept me for all that I am and all that I am not
My car
My relationship with God that continues to grow and flourish
My really supportive family
My wonderful apartment
My cool little brother
My rockin’ big sister
My dope Dad
My iPhone
My cool nephews I don’t get to see enough
My guardian angels (Madear and Barbara)
Books
The library
Starbucks
Gift cards
All of the possibilities…
Just a few things that put a smile on my face:
My wonderful fiancé who makes me a better person just by being who he is
My son whose smile makes me tear up just thinking about it
My wonderful mother who at times makes me crazy but she is my best friend and my biggest supporter
My career that I actually love
My gym membership for just $10 a month.
My core group of friends that love and accept me for all that I am and all that I am not
My car
My relationship with God that continues to grow and flourish
My really supportive family
My wonderful apartment
My cool little brother
My rockin’ big sister
My dope Dad
My iPhone
My cool nephews I don’t get to see enough
My guardian angels (Madear and Barbara)
Books
The library
Starbucks
Gift cards
All of the possibilities…
Friday, January 1, 2010
Daycare
Hello all…
I come in peace
Happy New Year and all that good stuff…while I could go on forever with tons of well wishes, the real reason for the post is much heavier…
Baby J starts daycare on Monday and I can’t believe it!!! Prior to enrolling him in daycare, my fiancé and I came up with a pro’s and con’s list:
Pros:
He will be stimulated
He will get to make friends
He will build his social skills
I can stay at work a little later knowing that daycare is open until 6
He will be put on a schedule
It will force me to set up and keep a schedule
Cons:
I will have to wake him up at 6am so that we can start getting ready
I will actually have to plan our outfits out the night before so that I am not late to work
I may be late to work
I can’t call a million times a day like I did when his grandmother was watching him
He might miss me
I may get stuck in traffic
I will miss him
He may be over stimulated and never nap
If he is sick I will have to take off of work
As you can see by our list there are more con’s than pro’s, which would mean that I shouldn’t send him to daycare, but most (all) of the con’s are things that I have to deal with. I know he will be safe…the minute I walked into the center I felt safe and knew that it was the right place for him and more importantly, for me.
Wish Baby J (me) luck on his first day of daycare
I come in peace
Happy New Year and all that good stuff…while I could go on forever with tons of well wishes, the real reason for the post is much heavier…
Baby J starts daycare on Monday and I can’t believe it!!! Prior to enrolling him in daycare, my fiancé and I came up with a pro’s and con’s list:
Pros:
He will be stimulated
He will get to make friends
He will build his social skills
I can stay at work a little later knowing that daycare is open until 6
He will be put on a schedule
It will force me to set up and keep a schedule
Cons:
I will have to wake him up at 6am so that we can start getting ready
I will actually have to plan our outfits out the night before so that I am not late to work
I may be late to work
I can’t call a million times a day like I did when his grandmother was watching him
He might miss me
I may get stuck in traffic
I will miss him
He may be over stimulated and never nap
If he is sick I will have to take off of work
As you can see by our list there are more con’s than pro’s, which would mean that I shouldn’t send him to daycare, but most (all) of the con’s are things that I have to deal with. I know he will be safe…the minute I walked into the center I felt safe and knew that it was the right place for him and more importantly, for me.
Wish Baby J (me) luck on his first day of daycare
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